Are you sitting comfortably (on someone’s penis)? Then we’ll begin.
Back in the 90s, when gay London was alive with the sound of both music and freaks, there was a club, a very good one, called Beautiful Bend. The press release was a novella, themes went along the lines of My Daughter’s Wedding Turned Out To Be A Terrible Disappointment and when you turned up at the basement club in Kings Cross you might discover washing lines hung with clothes that you could put on, a stripper urinating on his audience and Sheila Tequila and The Sensational Donald passing among you in full drag and comfy Dr. Scholls handing out home-made sandwiches. You did not take those sandwiches. Not unless you were very hungry indeed.
The whole thing would always finish with a bird and a cow (pantomime costumes) running around the room. Inside that bird and cow were often celebrities of the highest order, but no one ever knew. It was part of the legend that was… Beautiful Bend.
Them was the days. And now them days is back (whatever happened to grammar? English Teacher). Donald (now a Turner Prize nominated artist) – that’s his work right there! – and Sheila (now something of an expert on vintage clothing) have allowed for Beautiful Bend to make its glorious return to the inauspicious surroundings of Central Station in London’s glittering (well, it’s more glittering than it used to be) King’s Cross.
The date? 13th November. Could any date be more perfect. Let the madness commence!