There’s always one who’s got to go on The Apprentice. Welcome to this year’s One Who’s Got To Go


Her name is Melissa and don’t be taken in by the tiresome but probably friendly lesbian-out-of-a-packet look she’s adopting. She’s definitely The One Who’s Got To Go.

Aggressive, argumentative, very not a team player… someone needs to remind her that there’s no ‘I’ in ‘fuck off you cunt’… She reckons she could sell ice to the Eskimos (we think she means Inuits) ‘All day long’ – what, not just during office hours then? People call her ‘the battering ram’ and ‘the bulldozer’ – ‘I just don’t back down’ and she wants to get some glasses that fit her face and sort those roots out.

To the show. We are sad that Margaret is not there but Karren (with two ‘r’s, you can never have too much ‘r’s, ask anyone) Brady was alright, though we did think her ‘outrage’ at the aggressive style of the bloke who got knocked off quite funny bearing in mind what she must have been like as the youngest ever CEO of a public company.

Just one thing that makes us feel sorry for the bunch of knob-heads they get to go in for this though: the way they obviously set them up to say all those ego-maniacal things like ‘Everything I touch turns to sold’ and ‘I am a one-man brand’  just so they can bash them over the head with them when it comes to the crunch. Actually, it doesn’t make us feel sorry.

*examines conscience* No, nothing.

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7 comments to “There’s always one who’s got to go on The Apprentice. Welcome to this year’s One Who’s Got To Go”

  1. The only downside was that there was not a single person I wanted to bum. And I will bum most people. Ask anyone.

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  2. Stop it, Pilar, you’re making me jealous.

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  3. Don’t look so comfortable, Lulu. You’re next.

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  4. *plumps up pillow*

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  5. She looks like some dreadful Gok Wan character. Not that there’s any such thing as a non-dreadful Gok Wan character.

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  6. what are the qualifications for going on the apprentice

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  7. what are the qualifications for going on the apprentice

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