The main problem at the Commonwealth Games? Too many condoms being flushed down the toilets in the athletes’ village!


Now we’re not laying anything at the door of Australian diver Matthew Mitcham here (except maybe champagne and flowers), he’s just the one we’d most like to see in a condom.

But for real… the biggest disruption at the Commonwealth Games so far is apparently not flooding or terrorists or tummy bugs, but condoms in the athletes’ village blocking the drains. Those are some dirty little sportsfolks.

‘It shows that there is use of condoms and I think that is a very positive story. Athletes are being responsible,’ said Mike Fennell, who’s very high up at what are being called ‘The Games’. And we like that positive spin.

‘If they are so active then that’s very good,’ a spokesperson for the organisers said, putting an even more positive spin on it. ‘We are promoting safe sex!’

And those positive spins in figures: 4,000 free condoms have already been snapped up by athletes!

But we would say one thing: please put all used condoms in a tissue in the bin and not down the toilet, whether you’re a world-class athlete or not. *removes condom, places in tissue and then in bin, as a good example*

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