Not since we discovered Romy and Michele invented Post Its has our world been thrown this upside down. Except maybe when we discovered Philip of Spain took teeny-tiny steps when walking.
It is, ladies and germs, a letter written by Madonna to Steven Meisel, some twenty years ago. The exact date and time are not known, seeing as most people of the period were still getting to grips with the Gregorian calendar which was still in its infancy, and it was thought Madonna was sitting in the newfangled swivel chair at the time which is troublesome for most, let alone a poor black child born in the projects of Detroit, Michigan.
Madonna was filming A League of Their Own – quite possibly the finest of the Own movies – at the time, in Chicago, and in the letter it appears she has the hump with most things. Including co-star Geena Davis (that jaw would work anyone’s reserve nerve) and the Chicago mens. Who weren’t particularly bummable, apparently. We’ll be the judge of that, madam! And it’s thought the ‘book thing’ of which she speaks is SEX, quite possibly her finest work to date. Apart from the Rupert Everett years.
Oh, and ‘Dita’. You know, ‘My name is Dita, I’ll be your mistress tonight, I’d like to put you in a trance, If I take you from behind, etc…’? Anything? Anything? Jesus, what is this – kindergarten?