There are two responses to this headline. Actually, two and a half.
1) Yeah, we know.
2) We’re all fucked!
c) Yeah, exactly! (The impaired vision bit.)
So, in a letter to The New England Journal of Medicine, ‘doctors in France’ – which the last time we checked was our mother’s alias – have warned that snorting poppers can cause eye damage. The ophthalmologists (definitely not our mother. The only one she can get her mouth around is gynaecologist) cite four cases, over three months, in which party-goers (oh really!) suffered impaired vision (popper spots! We just came up with that. Not that it’s particularly esoteric) after using *checks notes* poppers.
Four? Is that all? No wonder all the fun Frenchies are in London.
And it’s something to do with nitric oxide affecting photoreceptor function and metabolism and… oh fuck, someone get us a drink.
But, like we said to our Momma, ‘If God didn’t approve of poppers, why did he invent the anus?’