Of course we’d go to Madonna’s gym – what sort of fools do you take us for?

Madonna to open up gym chain, Hard Candy Fitness

Madonna’s opening a chain of gyms called Hard Candy Fitness. Rings a bell…

They will be located in major cities around the world, including here and maybe even there.

The first one is planned for Mexico City (remember Madonna – you don’t buy tequila, you rent it!) and it is rumoured that Madonna will even attend the opening. Of her new fitness empire.

Hard Candy Fitness is a partnership with her manager Guy Oseary and New Evolution, who run/own a programme called 24 Hour Fitness. Can you own fitness? Anyway, that’s all very nice but anyone who’s bummed anyone knows it’s all about 4 Hour Fitness. Weekly shops to do, see. Working mums!

‘Hard Candy Fitness will be a reflection of Madonna’s point of view and will reflect her input on every detail, including music, space, light and other design cues,’ says Mark Mastrov from 24 Hour Fitness.

‘Madonna’s touch will be everywhere.’

*takes swabs*

One thing, Madonna. When you get to sorting out the changing rooms, a mix of communal and cubicled showers, anything but Sky News on the telly, a ban on unattractive people who think it’s okay to strike up a conversation because they’ve got nothing to lose, and free secret socks, please.

Now repeat after us: A gym is for sex, not just for Christmas.

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3 comments to “Of course we’d go to Madonna’s gym – what sort of fools do you take us for?”

  1. I may change gyms. After going for years, I have never developed a muscle or an indecent relationship. Money down the drain.

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  2. I might ask my gym to print out t-shirts with the slogan ‘A gym is for sex, not just for Christmas’.

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  3. If I go to Madonna’s gym, do I end up with arms like hers? Um, eew.

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