Please guzzle responsibly

So, just weeks after they were telling us drinkers were less likely to die than non-drinkers (it’s the Lord’s way, there’s no arguing with it), they break it to us that alcohol is more dangerous than heroin, crack, ecstasy and probably bloody wild lions let loose in a shopping mall.

For goodness sake.

We have a Professor David Nutt (the clue’s in the name), to thank for these findings. His team of dollies in crisp white coats analysed how addictive a drug is and how it harms the body as well as the environmental and socio-economic costs, such as health care, social services, and prison. Heroin, crack cocaine and crystal are the most deadly – word up! – but when the social effects were brought in alcohol, heroin and crack were top of the pops.

Marking substances from zero to 100 based on how dodgy they were, alcohol scored 72 overall, compared to 55 for heroin and 54 for crack.

Is that because everyone is a piss-head and only the lonely take heroin? Whatever. Nice news for a Monday morning, isn’t it?

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