This is Anne Widdecombe, here seen in a preview of next week’s Strictly Come On My Tits – which is going for a movie theme – dressed as Dorothy off-of Wizard of Oz.
Anne Widdecombe, who you might remember from some seminal works as Being an Utter Cunt and Brief Encounter: The Cunt Returns and Never Been Kissed (Because I’m An Utter Cunt) and 107-Year-Old Virgin (Because I’m A Cunt), is seen carrying a stuffed dog because she can’t be trusted with anything with a heartbeat. She sucks life out of living beings, see. Bit like that girl in Misfits on Channel 4, only with shit Brillo Pad hair and a vagina that’s no good to anyone.
So Anne Widdecombe is playing Dorothy off-of Wizard of Oz, which we have on good authority is, like, blasphemy or something. Blasphemy is a notion Anne Widdecombe is familiar with because she feeds off the feltchings of the Pope, but seeing as God doesn’t exist (he called to tell us and everything!) whereas Judy Garland not only did but did so winningly, we believe a homophobic zeppelin such as Anne Widdecombe dressing as Dorothy is, well, evil. There’s probably a WikiLeak about it and everything. Hillary Clinton probably has Anne’s DNA on file. It’s the next Weapon of Mass Destruction.