Quite nice tits. And half of David Platt.


Nick Tisley naked, Coronation Street

Last night saw the live, one hour long-episode of Coronation Street to mark its 50th birthday and it shat so hard over anything EastEnders has ever done that Albert Square looks like The Krays had a dirty protest all over it, then had another one to show how good they are to their mothers. Than another one to prove that in their day, you could leave your back doors open and everything. Pun perhaps intended, perhaps not.

We’re not normally ones for the lame comparison game – you know, like when you dare say something about Kylie and then the Kylie Fans (known the world over as the most sensitive of all The Fans) come back atcha with insults aimed at Madonna. They’re female. That’s where the (fair) comparisons end. At least even the odds. Bring in Hazell Dean for Christ’s sake!

To be fair (what’s with this ‘fair’ word all of a sudden?), that analogy doesn’t quite wash with the Corries vs ‘Benders debate because, well, it just doesn’t.

So in conclusion, EastEnders is shite and Coronation Street is all kinds of wonderful. You don’t read this in The Sun’s Buzz magazine, do you?

And sure, the interwebs have been busy as China tea cups frothing at the eyelids over cock-ups like… Oh, there weren’t any! Maybe Sally didn’t want to wear her hard-hat because she’s dead ‘ard; maybe Fiz’s baby was a boy for a short while; maybe the bird in the wheelchair has freakish upper body strength.

In conclusion… oh, we did that.

Ps, though. We did like it when Dot Cotton, in EastEnders on t’other channel just before Corrie started, said, ‘I’ll be sitting in tonight with a bag of marshmallows and watching Corrie. I never miss it. It’s my favourite program.’

We thought that was funny and nice. Throw in male nudity and you’ve got our three favourite things in the world. Three of our favourite things in the world. How long you got?

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