Johnny Depp, will you give it a fucking rest for just one minute?


Quite apart from the acting ability (frankly he peaked in the Jump Street thing and it’s been downhill all the way since then: it is like watching a Mars bar trying to act), we find with this new cover of Vanity Fair that Johnny Depp has worked our reserve nerve down to a nub. Give it up lad. Dress your age, not your cock size. And stop wearing your insecurities on where you should have a sleeve.

With just two self-help books as training, what we are picking up from La Depp’s messy, ‘artistic’ look and the fact that his ‘dear friend’ Patti Smith gets to interview him (are there no journalists left anywhere?) is the fact that he thinks he is deeply shallow and uninteresting, something he hides behind lots of meaningful tattoos and bits and bobs… It’s as if he’s saying, ‘How can I be boring with so many fascinating things just on my outfit?’

Honey, you’re boring. Learn to live with it and we can all move on.

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6 comments to “Johnny Depp, will you give it a fucking rest for just one minute?”

  1. Oof. He looks like he could do with a good bath.

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  2. How healous is the writer of this article? Cool, good looking, successful, a decent human being and worth millions. If that’s boring I’ll have boring any day.

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  3. I meant jealous. I don’t think healous is a word, although it should be.

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  4. Nah, I totally agree. He’s boring as fuck and his put-on eccentricity is tedious.
    I like that his wife looks like Kate Moss, though. That’s less boring.

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  5. Just a little point… I take umbrage at people who assume that anyone who doesn’t like a famous/rich/nice-looking person it’s because of jealousy…
    If nothing else, it means that rich/nice looking people are beyond criticism, and we all know that really isn’t the case!
    Johnny, though probably very nice and generous and all that, is one of those pretentious actors who overthinks and overdresses. Stick to acting, love.

    (Healous is a good word, though.)

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  6. I agree with both of you. I’m very turnable today. ;o)

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