Here she is in her best cardy. Hazelmary (aka Scarymary) Bull, landlady of all she surveys at some shithole down Cornwall way. But it’s not only a B&B open to the public (well, some of them), it’s also her family home.
So it turns out that Scary, even with the full weight of the Lord on her side, could still not win a small-scale earthly court case wherein she tried to defend her right to keep dirty gays off of her premises.
To cut a long, well-worn story down to size, she and her equally Christianous husband advertise their home to paying customers but when those paying customers turn out to like it on the brown side, she turns down their money, invokes the name of the Lord Baby Jesus and goes back to knitting chastity belts for the third world.
Only not in modern Britain, lady. Here everyone – even Christians! – are entitled to be treated as human beings. Which is why the two ‘vile’ (in the words of the Daily Mail commentators who are bleeding from their anuses with sheer fury as we type) gays who were turned down got £3,600 to spend on sex toys, rent boys and booze from court today.
Obviously, in a time-worn argument trotted out since Roman times, it’s the Christians who are the victims and what’s the world coming to when you can’t refuse gays. What’s next? You have to let blacks in? Then Irish?
In conclusion, we have just three words for Ms. Bull (oh, she’ll hate that. She’ll think we’re calling her a lesbian). Just three words. Ha, ha and ha.