His name is Dr. Phil, he looks like that character off-of Toy Story 3 and he gives out advice on TV. Like really dodgy advice. Such as when the subject of boys playing with girls’ toys came up…
‘Direct your son in an unconfusing way,’ he said from under his Village People moustache. ‘Don’t buy him Barbie dolls or girl’s clothes. You don’t want to do things that seem to support the confusion at this stage of the game … Take the girl things away, and buy him boy toys…’
Like guns? Or is that a bit phallic? Action Man? You can strip him naked and tie him to things (we’ve heard). Football shorts? What, so he can feel how lovely it is to have silky fabrics next to the skin? Football boots? Why? So he can learn to love the clack of a raised sole on hardwood floors? A drum? What, so he can learn to love the disco beat? A cowboy outfit? Really? No, really?
Listen, let him have a Barbie and some nail varnish and keep your fingers crossed he comes out a natural gay man. Or lesbian.