1. Dolce is almost as small as Kylie. Which is microscopic.
2. Kylie takes this stuff very seriously and can be seen practicing stage moves in the clothes.
3. The stage moves mostly involve holding a microphone and walking. Along.
4. Kylie can’t really smile properly anymore what with all the work she’s had done. It’s like she has a Lego brick under her top lip.
5. She wears really ugly boxy shoes and never mind that it’s Dolce & Gabbana designing.
6. Madonna once had a show designed by Dolce & Gabbana.
7. Dolce means ‘sweet’ in Italian. Gabbana is spelled with two ‘b’s.
8. Kylie’s hair never moves.
9. In the beaded bonnet she looks like Victoria Wood wearing a swimming cap.
10. Kylie seems to find nothing at all ridiculous about being referred to as The Little Princess at the age of 40-odd.
We will be going to and reviewing this show when it hits Her Majesty’s United Kingdom. For which you can’t wait, right?
See this highly educational video here.