Sir Dame Auntie Joanie, surely one of our finest actresses, known for a variety of roles ranging from bitch to bitch, is rumoured to want to make a cameo – that’s like an ‘appearance’, only spelt c-a-m-e-o – in the super smash hit ITV1 show, Benidorm. Benidorm, if anyone has ever been, is nothing like anywhere you’d want to go.
How do we know this? Julian Assange? News of the World-style phone hacking? A Post-it from the lady herself? Made it up?
‘Benidorm is totally fab. My sis Joan Collins would love to do a guest slot on it. I got her addicted.’
So says Sir Dame Auntie Jackie Collins, whilst ordering in a chocolate-covered croissant for her sis.
We like how she has to say ‘My sis Joan Collins’. As opposed to Joan of Arc. Or Bakewell. Or Miro. Or Jette. Or Baez. Or Aunty Joan. Or Tom Jones. Or me and Mrs.
ps. You totally know what’s coming now…