No, it’s not a stubborn-to-shift skidmark on a towel it is an image of Baby Jesus Christ Our Lord and a message from *checks notes* God


Having trouble shifting tricky stains? Don’t worry. It’s actually a message from God. What looks to the world like this dance teacher from Coventry needs to try some Vanish in her wash, is in fact a message from the almighty. Sorry, Almighty.

Because, as an omnipotent god who can do anything he likes – write his name in fire across the sky, carve his image on Mount Everest, form the very seas into a treatise on life, love and the passion – tea towels are the means he chooses to express himself to his people through images of the son that he sent to die for our sins (yeah, better luck next time with that one). He also chooses to express on toast. Because he moves in mysterious ways aka is as crazy as a bedbug. Which is why people like dance instructor here love him so hard and everyone’s happy.

*wipes tear from eye, notes tear is in fact a plastic surgery scar weeping or maybe it’s like that Virgin Mary who once cried tears of Ribena*

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3 comments to “No, it’s not a stubborn-to-shift skidmark on a towel it is an image of Baby Jesus Christ Our Lord and a message from *checks notes* God”

  1. Crikey … we really do live in a world of absolutely desperate nutters.

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  2. I feel like Rachel of-off F.R.I.E.N.D.S. “I can’t see it!” (I love that I bothered to do that with the dots)

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  3. I feel sick

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