Dolly necklaces on men have been banned in Iran. Because they don’t have anything better to do.


In Iran, where they have everything so sorted out, so perfect, so everything-in-its-place, to the extent that they can deploy thousands of special forces to target men’s accessories, necklaces for the gents have been banned.

Why? Because they are cheap and nasty? Because they don’t go with this summer’s blocky brights? Because you can get bits of chest hair caught in them and that is a bit yucky? Because Robbie Williams sometimes wears them? No, none of the above.

Men’s necklaces have been banned in Iran as part of a moral crackdown. While women must not wear loose-fitting headscarves (so the Queen is pretty much fucked) or shortened trousers (well, if you haven’t got the ankles…), men have been told they must not have necklaces or ‘glamorous hairstyles’. The ponytail and the mullet have LITERALLY been banned. Maybe they do have a point on that score.

In other news, Iran has recently made it against the law to own a dog, as it is a ‘blind imitation of the vulgar culture of the west.’ And this from that Mr. Dinner Jacket man who doesn’t even wear a neck tie to go about his State business.

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