Money obviously can’t buy you… well, anything.


Not looks, not style, not a daughter to be proud of, not even decent, non-crispy hair for that self-same daughter.

Meet Philip Green, who we totally refuse to call Sir. He of Topshop. You know the story behind Topshop. You know what goes on there.

Anyways, this is his daughter Chloe who we think is being foisted upon us in a Chloe Madeley kind of way (what is it with these Chloes? Maybe ‘a Chloe’ should be the new word for ‘pointless publicity-seeking daughter of someone famous’. We might even copyright it: ‘Coco Sumner? She’s such a fucking Chloe!’)

According to the Daily Cunt, Chloe Green has a tongue-stud. Yes, that’s what makes a story over at The Cunt. Oh, and she’s dating Ollie Locke off-of The Only Way is Chelsea, or whatever it’s called. Because he hasn’t come out as gay or anything. That’s the quality of the research that goes into the stories over at The Cunt.

And that’s how the news looks today.

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4 comments to “Money obviously can’t buy you… well, anything.”

  1. I thought He of Toppers was Philip Green, not Philip Rose. Isn’t the head of Marks’s called Rose? Or have I simply missed some great cosmic joke that will show me up for the c*nt I really am? I need a hardy cocktail.

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  2. Either way, the misnomer has been corrected. Power to the People/Pilabundar!
    Either way, I need a hardy cocktail too.

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  3. Thanks, Titicaca. *holds up hands*

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  4. […] Green off-of Philip Green – the Chloe Madeley of West London – is such a Chloe (TM). Here she is, in all her lumpen glory (it’s not fattest, by the way. There are actual lumps), […]

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