Joe McElderry was soooo brave to come out, reckons Andy Bell. We’ll be the judge of that.

Andy Bell off-of Erasure and latterly Pop Star to Opera Star has patted ‘little’ Joe McElderberry on the back (not the back bottom, the back) for coming out as gay. Yes, really.

‘I said to him that I thought it was very brave what he’d done,’ said Andy Bell, who never had to come out because the world is neither blind nor deaf. Well, word up Andy, Joe McElderbush was all ‘I’m straight but girls can wait’ when he won the X Factory.

It was only when a lover went to the papers that he decided to make the very ‘brave’ decision to come out. Not so much coming out then, as being dragged out by the pubic hair kicking and screaming. Credit where credit’s due. And no credit where credit’s not due.

‘It’s very hard to come out in the industry,’ says Andy, obviously confusing dollying about on stage surrounded by gays with working down a coal mine. ‘It’s male-dominated – run by men who like pretty young girls,’ he goes on, obviously never having had any contact whatsoever with showbusiness.

So, can we a) Stop pretending Joe McDonut came out: he was pulled, probably by too much teeth b) Stop pretending it’s particularly hard being a gay pop star: it’s a gay industry – get over it and c) Stop making out it’s soooo brave to be who you are. We’re not in Iran. And d) and e) We say get rid of Coming Out altogether.

Some People Are Gay. Get Over It!…? That counts for gays as well as straights, mmm-hmmmn.

*pats hair; eats a Fruit Pastille*

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