The Jeremy Kyle show: You know the drill… dog gets humped in the street by a pack of pigs, who’s the daddy?
‘Abort! Abort! Abort!’ seems the appropriate response.
Anyways and whores, one of the potential baby absentee-daddas is this relic of the Plantagenets (at least they had nice bonnets!), seen above. He’s a lovely fellow, with his choppy ‘do and open-house approach to syphilis; his acrylic daywear and refreshingly assertive manner; his barely-there teeth and come-to-bed glare… we’re slipping off our seat just thinking about him.
*forwards Group On pearly veneers offer*
ps. Jeremy Kyle? Cunt.