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Some news from Marks’s.

Marks & Spencer Ryan Reynolds Rosie Huntingdon-Whiteley

Marks ‘n’ Sparks/Marks’s/Marksees has unveiled its latest campaign, and we’ve slipped off our designer-imposter stools we’re that excited.

Starring Ryan Reynolds off the telly and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley-Casper-Moore off-of Jason Statham (we should homo!), this season it’s all about clothes that fit around the body.

‘Going into an M&S store with my family or friends always gives me a beautiful pang of nostalgia,’ said Ryan who, despite being Canadian, was often seen at the Handforth Dean branch of Marks’s during his youth. And ours.

‘The Autograph collection is a modern take on the classic style I love and feel most comfortable wearing,’ he continued to read from the press release.

‘The pieces in this collection are lasting staples that’ll never go out of style.’

Not only will we be the judge of that, but thank the Baby G they’ve ditched Myleene Klass off-of smug. S’all we’re saying.

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Good to see fashion has moved on since 1996

Ab Fab Christmas special 2011

These are pictures from the new Ab Fab, also known as the Absolutely Fabulous Christmas Special 2011.

Those with a beady eye may be exclaiming, ‘What is up in the air with you!’ at this juncture, seeing as the pictures were released before London’s glittering Bank Holiday Weekend. Thing is, we started to write the feature, got pissed, forgot to press ‘publish’. It may be a matter for the police.

It shows Eddie and Patsy shopping on Bond Street, in get-ups (that’s slang for ‘outfits’) that wouldn’t have looked out of place 15 years ago, except for the heels, which are slightly higher. And this is no criticism of Jennifer Saunders – her skills of observation are off-the-scale cheeenius – which is why it is instead a criticism of the modern fashions. Which are pig lazy.

And owing to that last paragraph, we are now able to call ourselves ‘fashion journalists’. We will get a gig writing a gonzo blog during London Fashion Week where we will make wry remarks about hob-nobs nobbing with the hobbly-nobs about Somerset House, get paid in beans, get a three-book publishing deal to write the story of our life – in two parts – with Parker Posey in the lead role, win plaudits from Stylist for generally being general, have three hairstyles a year, suffer from exhaustion, make an appearance on Something for the Weekend just to slap Louise Nerding, take part in two Marks & Spencers adverts, give birth, then pack it all in. And we’re a single mother!

And if you’ve read this far, well done you. So here’s Eddie with her face pressed up against the window at Stella McCartney. Can’t blame her really, Stella’s very kind to trees. (more…)

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This is how we think we look when we’re dancing. Truth of the matter is, we look better than this when we’re dancing.

Lanvin Fall 2011 campaign

‘This’ is the Lanvin Fall 2011 campaign. We prefer to call it autumn. It features a raft as well as a lot of models, including but not only Karen Elson off the ginge and the pale, and it is filmed, etc. by Steven Meisel.

It is officially our new favourite video whose sole purpose is to sell things that also includes song and dance, since the ‘You’ll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties’ advert from Ikea.

That carpet’s even doing it for us.

*raises hands* (more…)

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We love to billow, too.

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A girl after our own heart

Hugh Jackman gets pants pulled down

We’re assuming it’s a girl. We’re too bedazzled by the black and white waist on the three-quarter length shorts. And the late President Jerry Ford in the background, who appears to be getting about this summer.

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Some post-Bank Holiday Weekend musings

Sean Penn topless

Bendy bussing it (not really) into the orifice after the long weekend of bank hollydays, or BHW if you’re a NYE, LOL, ROLF kinda CU Next Tuesday, we brushed away the usual free riding skanks, disableds and grannies to bag ourselves a seat and a papier only to be rewarded with this pic of Sean Penfold skip-skip-skip-to-the-looing in naught but his unnecessaries and a ‘tache.

Said paper reliably informed us that Penfold, of Formerly Inside Madonna fame, is rather fit. And not only that, but he’s fit at 51 years of age. Who knew such things were possible? Certainly not Too-Tight-Speedos-Man, TBSATJ (to be seen after the jump). The question and/or questions are, could we? Yes. But have we? We couldn’t possibly divulge… *pause*… No. (more…)

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Who wants to see Adele not knowing what the fuck is going on…?

Over the jump with you… (more…)

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Lady Gaga reaches her SEX book phase

She puts Kylie to shame, does Lady Gaga. Mind you, a piece of half chewed toffee with some nuts in it puts Kylie to shame but then that’s a whole nother can of tapeworms. No, we’re just saying that in the Madonna-mimicking stakes, Gaga is already up to the SEX book stage that took Madonna a decade to reach.

Look out for some very bad films, a couple of marriages, a few toyboys, a close friendship then falling out with a lesbian comic, an English accent, two children, some adoptions and a directing career by Christmas.

The pictures, btw, are out-takes from a shoot Lady GG did with Vogue. The ones they ran with featured Gaga in Marks & Spencers Autograph range, because that’s the edgy shit they go for over at Vogue book.

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