Some thoughts from Joan Collins – seen here fucking someone on a swing – on the moral collapse of Great Britain

Paraphrased from Joanie’s book Why Britain Is a Pile of Old Shit (we’re paraphrasing) as serialised in The Daily Cunt.

1. Young British women are a bunch of slags, says Joan, star of The Stud and The Bitch.

2. Being fat is about the worst thing you can do.

3. Being fat and wearing a top which shows some of that fat is even worse.

4. All young people can only speak if there are a minimum of two ‘f’ words and a ‘c’ word in each sentence.

5. Fat people swear. And are slags.

6. No one respects older people anymore. Especially fat swearing slags.

7. Looters could be stopped in their tracks if they were shot directly through the head.

8. It’s OK to be able to call people fat slags, as long as you’re polite about it. Manners are EVERYTHING!

9. People who Tweet are rude and ignorant. You can follow Joan on Twitter, but she only Tweets the exact politest amount of times. Not a single Tweet more.

10. Hats, shoes, gloves.

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Some thoughts from Joan Collins - seen here fucking someone on a swing - on the moral collapse of Great Britain, 9.6 out of 10 based on 5 ratings

Comments

  1. Gilbert without George says:

    Oh Joanie, a parody of yourself. Wouldn’t mind, but you just know she doesn’t say any of this with an ounce of irony. She really does think people take her seriously.

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  2. Richard the Big Bunny says:

    That may be my favourite ME ME ME headline *ever* !!! :-)

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  3. I loved Dynasty, but am a tad disappointed that Joanie’s turned into such an old Tory witch.

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  4. Schloshed says:

    Joanie St Angelo is a slag-in-a-wig.

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  5. But at least Joan was a slag with class.

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  6. A friend of mine used to work on the BA desk in Heathrow and one day Joan Collins checked in too late for her flight and missed the gate closing. After much heated debate she screamed at him “Do you know who I am?” My friend then put a call out over the loadspeaker “If anyone has lost a middle-aged angry lady there’s one at the BA desk who doesn’t know who she is”
    He was sacked, but dines out on it to this day.

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