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A little Adele



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You know how lots of people think Canadians are stupid and club seals for fun? These Canadians think gays corrupt children.

The retards of whom we speak are called The Institute for Canadian Values, and they created this advertisement using an unsuspecting child with come-to-bed eyes and silky-shiny hair and those trainers with the wheels on the bottom to prove their point. That gays – and transgenders and the intersexed (what the fuck is intersexed?) and those who are two-spirited (what the fuck is two-spirited?) – corrupt children. These people are religious. They do not get the irony.

Isn’t it funny that all these hate groups have ‘values’ or ‘traditional’ or ‘Jesus’ or ‘sensible flats’ in their rhetoric, and look back wistfully to a much happier time when people could leave their doors open for the Krays to come in and slice their throats; when you could walk the streets of ye olde London Town and get shat on from a Tudor house with a cantilevered toilet; when you could be bumming royalty one minute and being drowned in a vat of oil the next for giving someone the glad eye; when you could believe in fairies and no-one thought you were mental.

But why is The Institute for Canadian Values so vexed at this present moment in time? (Word up – gays have always been around. Ask anyone.) It’s because the Canadian government, like ours, reckons it’s a good idea to tell children that there are different people in this world. Simple as that. They are of course trying to scare-monger by suggesting the children are being subjected to Triga porn on a loop, but it’s really not as fun as that. It’s just spreading the word that, you know, some people are gay, some people are transgender, some people are plain ugly – because guess what kids, that might be you! But God forbid anyone – including their parents – accept them for who they are.

And God forbid children are allowed to think for themselves. These lot are evangelists, after all.

*goes bobbing for apples*

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Doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo…

Paranormal Activity 3 trailer

It’s the trailer for Paranormal Activity 3 (the prequel!) Set in a 1988 whose only nod to 1988 is cushioned coat-hangers and a Flash Dance off-the-shoulder T.

Does it ruin some of the magic if we start to think of Dad in a sexual way…? (more…)

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Soon to be seen on a lump near you.

Versace for H&M

Behold *spreads arms* an outfit from Donatella Versace’s new range for H&M, as seen in this month’s Vogue. It hits the shelves (literally? Doubt it) on 19th November, which is a Saturday.

So expect all the wrong people to be squeezing their thighs into a floral legging, imminently and also soon. If you see one inside of an Ugg, you have permission to push them over. It’s okay, they’ll probably bounce right back up again.

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When in doubt, nudity.

Big Brother nudity

There comes a time in everyone’s life where the ratings are just darn crappy and you have to resort to getting your cock out. We give you Exhibits A, B, 3, D and E from Big Brother.

Oh, side-bar: We stumbled across OK! TV on Channel 5 the other day. We were actually looking for Coach Trip but got distracted by the cat who was doing cartwheels for light relief. Wannaknowsomething? It wasn’t quite the crock of shite we were expecting. Jenny Frost and that Essex boy who used to schtup the erstwhile Jade Goody are actually not un-charming.


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You can imagine how excited the Daily Cunt is about this…

Daily Mail homophobia

They even dedicated an entire box-out to it!

The statistic comes hither from a survey that was clearly conducted with the same accuracy as the effectiveness of l’Oreal Volume Millionize Mascara, and even suggests… oh, honestly, it’s all bollocks so it must be true.

As usual the gay lobby (has anyone ever met this gay lobby? Why didn’t we get an invite?) is being blamed for all the dogs to which the country has gone, and at least 17 of the fish-wives harping on on this piece of Daily Fascist propaganda (see, it’s not only the gays who can manipulate!) are obsessed by gays on the Telly V.

‘Homosexuals make up only 1.5% of the population?’ squealed John from Wales. ‘Surely that can’t be right, the TV stations that reflect the nation with their soaps and TV presenters put the figure at 25%. How else could they justify employing so many from one minority section of society?’

John from Wales has been taking notes.

Besides, the gentlemen (for we really are gentlemen) in this room alone have had 1.7% of the male population between us. We think someone’s telling porkies.

It’s a fairly big room, by the way.
ps. 100% – ‘Some 94 per cent (who) say they are heterosexual’ = 6% of the population who aren’t heterosexual.
pps. Just sayin’.
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Nicola Roberts has done a cover of something she really shouldn’t have done a cover of. Which could be anything.

Nicola Roberts

Nicola Roberts – whose voice is so small you could slide it under a door – has done a cover of ‘Everybody’s Got To Learn Sometime’. She shouldn’t have.

It sounds like the mice off Bagpuss singing in front of a hairdryer.

Sharon Corr also did a cover last year or thereabouts. Another example of a voice so small you could pop it in your mouth.

What is it with this song?

We would’ve listened to Nicola Roberts’ version all the way through, only it’s a hard knock life to begin with. And we were threatened with violence from every. Single. Person. In. The. Room.

Isn’t it funny how people have stopped. Doing. That. With. Words. Resurrect it, we say.

Oh, and listen to Nicola ‘face of a Scouser, hair of Rita Sullivan’ Roberts’s version of ‘Everybody’s Got To Learn Sometime after the jump. Stick your fingers in your ears first, mind. (more…)

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Déjà gay*

Hugh Jackman topless. Natch.

We’re thinking of making this a regular slot.

He’s even winking!

*The above model/models are consenting adults over the age of 18 whose actions herein are fictitious and not based on actual events. Or some bollocks like that.

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