Before you assume that Susan Boyle-in-the-bag has gone out and got herself a nice new hairdo, assume again. This fine specimen of womanhood is Sinead O*’Connor, who has complained that despite her obvious charms, she hasn’t had a shag in donkeys. And the ex-singer, ex-nun, ex-lady-lover has turned to ye olde faithful internets to air her willy-less woes.
She wrote on her blog that things have become ‘so dire that inanimate objects are starting to look good’. Ooh, how divine. Does the crucifix count? Perhaps an Exorcist style ‘Let Jesus fuck you’ scenario is in order. She continued, ‘Needless to say what I do for a living makes it hard for me to find men that only want me cuz they like my (legendary) arse.’ Honey, we hear ya. Although, what is it that you do for a living again? We don’t recall.
Signing off, she concludes, ‘Anyway vibrators don’t smell good an feel all stubbly on yer face like guys do’ which could, quite frankly, mean anything.
Mad as a box of freshly shaven hair. And eloquent.
* The O is for Oirish
Who would live in a unit like this?,