1. You won’t be able to follow it after about five minutes. We managed three.
2. Tom Hardy (him up there) looks hot even with shaggy hair (there’s a very nice bulge shot on the sofa to look out for)
3. There was not one single room that looked nice in England in the ’70s.
4. Kathy Burke is mesmerising even when she can’t do the accent.
5. Our favourite new line: ‘I’m feeling decidedly underfucked these days.’ (Kathy Burke)
6. Colin Firth is so expert at doing gay, he can convey it with a small wrinkle in just one eyebrow.
7. We may have got the bit about Colin Firth being gay wrong. But Mark Strong was. We think.
8. Those little mini bottles of wine are perfect for taking into the pictures. If you have a couple each.
9. We think Gary Oldman has had Botox in the corners of his mouth to make him ‘Smiley’.
10. We think films like this are for autistic people: it’s more like Soduko than anything about human beings.