Now you know, life is so much easier, right? It’s like a weight has been lifted. It’s that first five minutes down the pub after you’ve had your first three double vodkas with a squeeze of lime, and there’s a sort of gentle hue to everything. Like nothing really matters anymore, only Cheese and Onion Walkers. Like you can take on the world, and his dog. Like you don’t need 100mg of Diazepam just to make it round the non-perishables down Sainsberries. Like the children really are our future. Like tattoos aren’t in fact a ridiculous idea.
He even has a name.
This is the soldier who took Cheryl Cole's number. Or her Boots loyalty card. Or her virginity. Or something.,