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And in today’s breaking underwear news…

Bench underwear

A little too much base.

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Rating: 4.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Oh hello.

Guy Berryman

This man is in Coldplay. Who knew! He’s called Guy Berryman. Who knew!

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Rating: 7.2/10 (5 votes cast)

These two have made sweet, sweet love.

frankie cocozza and holly hagan

Or, as Frankie Cocozza puts it (perish the thought), ‘I met her; I banged her.’ Though he didn’t use a semi-colon.

The woman is called Holly Hagan, she is on Geordie Shore, and some people even find her attractive.

Frankie Cocozza is on X Factory, his hair makes us nauseous, and he is what is known in the business as an utter cock.

The end.

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Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Oh I!

Kelly Brook Thom Evans

This is Kelly Brook and her smart-for-town/bumming boyfriend Thom Evans who not only spells his name with an h, but doesn’t even get cocky about it. Talking of cock, the other boy in this Hallowe’en themed picture (they’ve gone all Twilight, apparently) goes by the name of ‘Kelly Brook’s and Thom Evans’s friend’. Sometimes you just can’t make this shit up.

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Rating: 3.5/10 (2 votes cast)

And in today’s breaking underwear news…

barcode pants


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Rating: 10.0/10 (3 votes cast)

Oh hello. Oh hello. Oh.

Tom Daley and Jamie Redknapp in speedos. And John Bishop.

Starting from the left and moving to the right, maybe even stopping along the way, we have Jamie Redknapp off-of that shitting awful Thomson Holidays advert, baby gay Tom Daley, and John Bishop off-of that shitting awful John Bishop’s Britain show.

Starting from the left and moving to the right, maybe even stopping along the way, we would bum Jamie Redknapp, only we can’t get the vision of his wife on Something For The Weekend out of our heads; we would bum Tom Daley only we wouldn’t because even though he’s legal he will always be a baby gay to us; and ending with John Bishop we would just end.

Now who wants to look at Tom Daley in profile? (more…)

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Rating: 7.1/10 (7 votes cast)

Kylie is to be a coach on The Voice. A show about singing. And only singing. Nothing but singing.

Kylie to be a coach on The Voice?

Kylie (Minogue. It’s sometimes hard to narrow it down) has reportedly been offered £1million to be a coach on The Voice, the BBC’s alternative to X Factor.

We find this to be oxymoronic. Emphasis on the moronic.

The Voice, you see, is supposed to be about the voice. And not just any old voice, either. A voice that doesn’t strip tarmac. How they came up with the title is beyond us but really, they do insist the show is about the voice.

And Kylie is lots of things – like small – but she’s not about the voice. Which is phoned in at the best of times.

If this is true, as opposed to false, then the show has lost all integrity before it has even begun. And gives carte blanche to all contestants to use the following phrases:

‘This coming from Kylie?’

‘This coming from Kylie Minogue?’

‘This coming from Dannii’s sister?’

‘This coming from that bird off Neighbours?’

Ad infinitum.

*claps slowly*

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Which royal without a royal title who has blonde hair and is married to a rugby player, gets to grapple this of an evening? Or during the day – who are we to judge?

Mike Tindall crotch

It’s Zara Phillips!

Thirteenth in line to the thrown!


And after the jump, you’ll find the whole top half of Mike Tindall. Watch the nipples don’t have your eye out. (more…)

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Rating: 10.0/10 (3 votes cast)