Thomas Jane, gay-for-pay

Thomas Jane, gay hooker

Thomas Jane, star of a show about a gigolo with a schlong big enough to slice a rough puff pastry (we’re not entirely sure what that means but the Great British Bake off really got to us), has revealed he used to be a gay hooker.

‘When I was a kid out here in L.A., I was homeless, I didn’t have any money and I was living in my car,’ he told the LA Times. ‘I was 18. I wasn’t averse to going down to Santa Monica Boulevard and letting a guy buy me a sandwich. Know what I mean?’

Honey, we know what you mean! *pats hair*

‘Hey, you grow up as an artist in a big city, as James Dean said, you’re going to have one arm tied behind your back if you don’t accept people’s sexual flavours,’ continued Thomas. Or Thom. Or just Bitch if he’s in one of his moods.

‘You’re a lot more open to experimentation as a young man. And for me, being a young artist and broke in Los Angeles, I was exploring my sexual identity.
‘Probably because of my middle-class, white blue-collar upbringing, I would have never had the opportunity to confront some of my own fears and prejudices had I not been hungry enough to be forced to challenge myself in that way.
‘I chose to be a heterosexual guy because that’s what my DNA dictates and my nurture dictates that I am.

‘It’s not a choice until you’re open enough to experience both male and female sexuality. Until you’ve tasted the food, you don’t know whether you’ll like it or not, as my mom always said.’

*draws a list of men who need to taste the food; white wees*

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