Apart from the little dumpling who, it’s true, can sing and the two Essex, well, dumplings also, the peoples on the X Factors were a bit shit. Especially the Oirish one who has a voice that B&Q stock for stripping wallpaper. And let’s not even start on Biscuit Boy. You don’t want to be covering your eyes when he’s on the telly. Not when there’s a licence to pay.
Oh and the boy with the hair. Or, The Boy With The Hair. What is he, feral?
But, what harks? There we were idly minding everyone’s business in one of London’s glittering Gay Establishments that had a big screen and everything (that’s the 21st century for you!) when this advert popped up – almost like a cherry! – in what can only be described as the ad break in between the X Factor. It had us at ‘Ooooh’.
It is a parody of the X Factor and its ilk. Cute boys in white cotton and denim, few histrionics, a six-pack, tight melodies, bucolic setting, hair. Knowwhatwe’retalkingabout?
To use the words of Louis Walsh who, it appears, is on a completely different show to everyone else, they nailed it.
Which is funny because we’ve nailed one of them. We couldn’t possibly name names but suffice it to say, it’s the hot one.
We’re so discreet, we should be on Spooks.