Kylie is to be a coach on The Voice. A show about singing. And only singing. Nothing but singing.


Kylie to be a coach on The Voice?

Kylie (Minogue. It’s sometimes hard to narrow it down) has reportedly been offered £1million to be a coach on The Voice, the BBC’s alternative to X Factor.

We find this to be oxymoronic. Emphasis on the moronic.

The Voice, you see, is supposed to be about the voice. And not just any old voice, either. A voice that doesn’t strip tarmac. How they came up with the title is beyond us but really, they do insist the show is about the voice.

And Kylie is lots of things – like small – but she’s not about the voice. Which is phoned in at the best of times.

If this is true, as opposed to false, then the show has lost all integrity before it has even begun. And gives carte blanche to all contestants to use the following phrases:

‘This coming from Kylie?’

‘This coming from Kylie Minogue?’

‘This coming from Dannii’s sister?’

‘This coming from that bird off Neighbours?’

Ad infinitum.

*claps slowly*

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More dolly #content:

13 comments to “Kylie is to be a coach on The Voice. A show about singing. And only singing. Nothing but singing.”

  1. Okay … I’m not hatin’ … or denyin’ … Kylie’s had some cute records & all … I even like four or five of the 50+ she’s had out … but vocal coaching and/or judging? Don’t make me larf! This woman has had a head-cold since 1987 and does not know how to sing. I know it’s her thing — her Kylie nasal Aussie thing voice — but it’s very unpleasant when not amplified & harmonised. Indeed, she is the example most vocal coaches use for “doing it wrong” — take it down out of your head, dearie!

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  2. Kylie’s vocals were recorded using the Calrec Soundfield Microphone.

    Next!

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  3. Why for one second were you labouring under the assumption that The Voice is about nothing more than The Journey and, as with X Factory, sweet fanny adams about talent, credibility or the commercial success of the winners. This is Fame Academy II.

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  4. Some people like Kylie’s voice.
    I am not a tone-deaf retard.

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  5. You are a little tone deaf love and in fairness totally retarded. I’m not even going there on the subject of your face looking like a half buttered bollock

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  6. You are a little tone deaf love and in fairness totally retarded. I’m not even going there on the subject of your face looking like a half buttered bollock

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  7. Ooh, someone’s feather is a little ruffled!

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  8. But wot luvely blue eyes she has in the foto above!

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  9. Very drole, LLL. And such lovely Lindas to boot! You’re on fire!

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  10. Maybe they should approach Madge?

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  11. Miss Vicks, your face looks like a hobo’s minge & I don’t think I’ve ever heard you try to sing.

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  12. Kinnell, how fabulous – love the reference. Do you think she’ll allow her friend (& indeed esteemed co-musician) A. Linn to help in mentoring duties?

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  13. Apparently not, as the producers felt it might be hard for the audience to figure out which one was the machine.

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