Behold the Louis Vuitton condom, which retails – in your nearest Louis Vuitton retailer! – at $68 a pop/bum/schtup/shag/screw/pound/hump/bang/poke/finger-if-you’re-particularly-safe-sex-oriented. Which is about half a crown in old money.
The condom itself is tawny in colour, and embossed with LV ALL OVER. If you rub on it, you get Marc Jacobs. Or Kanye West. Or a piece of luggage. Clutch bag if you’re unlucky.
$68 per bum,