Not only do we talk to our mothers with that filthy mouth – she’s even been known to listen! – but oft times it is fit to bursting with semen. And they say men can’t multi-task.
But it’s not any old semen. No. Oh no. Oh no! It is bear semen. And we’re not talking dolly old Rupert the Bear either, oh no/oh no! We’re talking the sort of alpha male semen you’d get from the sort of man who would wrestle naked in a D.H. Lawrence novel. The sort that would paint and decorate and not feel the need to turn it into a career. The sort who would wear pants and, wait for it… not show off about it! The sort that, if you walked up to him in the street having never spoken and said to him, ‘Hello. I’ve wanked off thinking about you after seeing you naked down the showers at our gym’ they would grab you by the hand, hail a cab, take you home and bum you rotten. And we talk from experience.
That is why we like bear semen. We’re here, we’re kinda queer, get used to………. nope, it’s gone. And if you’re into group bumming, bear semen can easily be made into a shandy.
We also forgot to capitalise Bear Semen.
Or did we?
How would you like semen in your mouth this evening? ,