Aussiebum bollocks. Literally.
But hold on one cotton picking minute.
*holds on; a potton micking cinute*
These pants by Aussie ‘never knowingly not looking for a gimmick’ Bum have a pocket in front of said bollocks. First we thought, ‘Kumquat?’ Then we thought, ‘You know quat? That is just about the best invention ever. Sod the wheel, sod Asprins, sod the secret sock… what else could a gay need than a pocket in front of his bollocks?’
We believe in this invention so hard that we’ve even made that a rhetorical question. We can count on one hand the amount of times we’ve had our iPhone stolen out of our pockets… We can count on seven hands the amount of times we’ve had to smuggle poppers in our back bottoms… We can count on other people’s anecdotes how many times we have collapsed into gutters and had all our pockets rifled down to nothing.
But what the bollock pocket offers is a fail safe solution to all of the above. Never again will a dirty thieving bastard slip their hand into somewhere it’s not welcome and exeunt with a whole back catalogue of cock pictures.
Unless of course they go straight for the bollocks, and we’ve never knowingly been ones to discourage that sort of behaviour.
And in today's breaking underwear news...,