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‘They’re calling it “butt chugging”‘


Everyone – from a school kid to a bum on the street – knows that sticking a vodka-soaked tampon up your vagina will get you wasted faster than you can say Tena Lady. Heck, we’ve been doing it since we were knee-high to a secret sock, before quickly proceeding to pouring it into our eyeballs for that extra je ne sais quoi. Hell, wash your hair with poppers and you’re one hot flammable mess. And there ain’t nothing sexier than that, double negative or no double negative.

But now, it seems the boys – those who don’t have a vagina – are getting in on the act. Which is one heck/hell of a leap for equality. Called ‘butt chugging’, it is the male equivalent of *checks notes* sticking a vodka-soaked tampon up your vagina. Only it involves *milk, milk, lemonade, round the corner chocolate’s made* your arsehole, to give it its full medical term.

Those wily little scamps have taken to sticking tubes of beer up their back bottoms, and pressing the go button we presume. It gets them squiffy, we can tell you.

‘Using a beer bong rectally is the same concept as a vodka-soaked tampon,’ says Chris Thomas, a school resource officer from Phoenix, Arizona, US of Americas, the whole wide world.

Then they all did a cartwheel for light relief, group bummed on Cam4, said ‘dude’ a few times, married weather girls in their back yards, and grew into elasticated waists.

*the end*

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2 comments to “‘They’re calling it “butt chugging”‘”

  1. I’m sorry but a vodka-soaked tampon would sting the average vagina, surely.

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  2. Call me old fashioned, but surely if you’re that desperate to get drunk quick why not save on the minge singe/ring sting and just start drinking earlier? Never tried Baileys on the cornflakes ladies?

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