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Koch by name, cock by nature. Also, really bad hair.


Amy Koch

This woman – and we use that term lightly – is called Amy Koch. She is *checks notes* a Republican (who knew) state senator. She is also *checks notes* a cunt. She opposes gay marriage, mostly because she’s a cunt but also because she’s retarded. She’s scared of the gays, see. Thinks they’re a threat to the sanctity of marriage blah blah blah-di-blah.

Also turns out (they always turn out!) she’s a hypocrite. Had an extra-marital affair with a male member of her staff and everything. Poor bastard.

And now for the twist in our festive tale of hypocritical schtuppin’… a very nice gay gentleman caller by the name of John Medeiros (segue: whatever happened to Glenn?) wrote an open letter to Amy Koch. Surprisingly for a man who takes it up the ‘arris, he didn’t mention her hair. But his letter does make very good reading. For which we applaud him. With all our hands.

John Medeiros? Drop trou’ and take a bow!

Dear Ms. Koch,

On behalf of all gays and lesbians living in Minnesota, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for our community’s successful efforts to threaten your traditional marriage. We are ashamed of ourselves for causing you to have what the media refers to as an “illicit affair” with your staffer, and we also extend our deepest apologies to him and to his wife. These recent events have made it quite clear that our gay and lesbian tactics have gone too far, affecting even the most respectful of our society.

We apologize that our selfish requests to marry those we love has cheapened and degraded traditional marriage so much that we caused you to stray from your own holy union for something more cheap and tawdry. And we are doubly remorseful in knowing that many will see this as a form of sexual harassment of a subordinate.

It is now clear to us that if we were not so self-focused and myopic, we would have been able to see that the time you wasted diligently writing legislation that would forever seal the definition of marriage as being between one man and one woman, could have been more usefully spent reshaping the legal definition of “adultery.”

Forgive us. As you know, we are not church-going people, so we are unable to fully appreciate that “gay marriage” is incompatible with Christian values, despite the fact that those values carry a biblical tradition of adultery such as yours. We applaud you for keeping that tradition going.

And finally, shame on us for thinking that marriage is a private affair, and that our marriage would have little impact on anyone’s family. We now see that marriage is more than that. It is an agreement with society. We should listen to the Minnesota Family Council when it tells us that marriage is about being public, which explains why marriages are public ceremonies. Never did we realize that it is exactly because of this societal agreement that the entire world is looking at you in shame and disappointment instead of minding its own business.

From the bottom of our hearts, we ask that you please accept our apology.

Thank you.
John Medeiros
Minneapolis MN

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Koch by name, cock by nature. Also, really bad hair. , 10.0 out of 10 based on 6 ratings

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5 comments to “Koch by name, cock by nature. Also, really bad hair.”

  1. She has a face made for slappin’.

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  2. I just LOVE festive tales of hypocrisy. Make me feel all warm inside.

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  3. Oh, it’s not fair to use a picture of her taken in the early 90’s (maybe late 80’s if we’re generous?). I mean, look at the hair (cut and colour) and the smart attire, not to mention the unfortunate lip colour. This could ONLY have been taken in a previous decade. Right?

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  4. It’s that guy from Little Britain dressed up.

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  5. John Medeiros, we all love you.

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