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How did we miss this ad for Dior with Marion Cotillard directed by the guy who did Hedwig?

And frankly, the only thing that doesn’t ring true about this whole fashion shoot scenario is that the photographer would have his jeans halfway down his arse – even though he’s knocking 50 – and the stylist would be more of a stupid bitch. The rest is photo-journalism.

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Apparently this poster for Shame featuring – what is this? hair conditioner? – was banned in Hungary

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Christina Aguilera giving herself a whole new hemorrhoid at Etta James’s funeral

Couldn’t help but make us think of this…

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Shirley MacLaine will look like this throughout her Downton Abbey turn

Shirley MacLaine Downton Abbey

Shirley MacLaine – Warren MacLaine’s brother, dontcha know! – will be in the next series of Downtown Abbey, playing Lady Grantham’s momma. Anticipation is mounting to mountainous levels for the spats betwixt our Shirl and Sir Dame Maggie Smith, AKA What Is A Weekend? (TM)

‘Can’t fucking wait!’ said Dame Maggie, when pressed on the matter.

‘It’s me, Charity!’ said Shirley, when pressed equally hard on the matter.

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Madonna looks lovely. And we’re not even going to add ‘for her age’.

Madonna MDNA

Don’t you just hate those promo mugs? They’re never as sturdy as television budgets might suggest, and bearing in mind who Jay Leno’s had on that designer imposter suede-ette armchair we personally would’ve insisted on a plastic cover, but that’s just how Madonna rolls.

And baring in mind we’ve just received our 2010/11 tax bill we’re amazed we can see the woods through the tears through the panic through the screen through the sweat through the begging phone calls to the Inland Revenue via Madonna’s patent Louboutins all the way up to her hair. Hair like that just happens when you have money.

In conclusion, the cover for Madonna’s new album, MDNA, is over the jump. Now that’s what we call full-circle. (more…)

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This is the David Beckham pants advert, moving pictures version. It’s a bit shit.

Don’t really get the point of an advert for David Beckham pants in which you barely see the pants. But then we’re not paid hundreds of thousands of pounds to come up with the idea of putting David Beckham on some sort of spinning device – as exhibited in the Great British Bake Off, great for icing a sponge – and video-ing him in black and white. And there’s not even a whiff of VPL. The country’s gone to the dogs!


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Lord Carey, you cunt.

Lord Carey, Arch Homophobe

Lord Lady Carey, the former Archbishop of Canterbury and a right cunt, is backing another right cunt, Christian psychotherapist Lesley Pilkington, who was suspended from her job for malpractice – the mal bit being offering ‘gay cure’ therapy. By backing, we mean saying she should have her job back. That’s because he’s a cunt. She is too.

Lord Cunty, who last we heard really does think Jesus wants him for a sunbeam (He’ll be the judge of that), says that gay cure therapy ‘does not produce harm despite the Royal College of Psychiatrists and others maintaining the contrary.’ What were you expecting from a man who believes in fairy tales, sanity? Pleasant shoes?

The BACP (British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy) suspended Lezzie P last year, calling her ‘reckless’, ‘disrespectful’, ‘dogmatic’ and ‘unprofessional’. They left out really bad hair, which is a natch, natcherly.

Lord Carey quite Contrary, backed another sacked Christian cunt, Gary McFarlane, in 2010. Gaz was a counsellor (he ain’t no more!) who refused to work with gay couples. That’s fine with us, so long as we can refuse to work with Christian cunts. Oh look, we already do!

In conclusion, Lord Carey is a cunt. And he totally doesn’t rock the gap-in-his-teeth look. Who the fuck does he think he is, Madonna?


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This song, by Madonna, is out this week. That came round quick, didn’t it?

It’s kicky, it’s fresh, it has no colour, it has movement, it has three Madonnas, all three Madonnas look like they’re in their mid to late twenties, it has hair, it has hair touchin’, and it has a finger pointing downwards. And it’s only mildly irritating that Madonna has spelt lovin’ with a u. It has super smash hit all over it.

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