Peaches Geldof off-of nothing has been schtupped to the point of pregnancy by Thomas Cohen, who spells his name with an h. Both of them.
The picture is thought to show the moment of impregnation.
The press statement goes as thusly hence:
‘Peaches Geldof and her fiancé Thomas Cohen are delighted to announce that Peaches is pregnant with their first child.
‘Peaches is utterly thrilled and they have the full support of both of their families who are equally excited for the baby’s arrival.’
We’re fascinated by the fact that Peaches’ spokesperson thought it necessary to clarify that this is their first child. Just fascinated.
When we interviewed Peaches Geldof, she said of Thomas Cohen, ‘You know when you go out with someone who is so much better looking than you are…?’ We slapped her and told her to wash her mouth out.
Whilst we’re at it, is it still fashionable to say Peaches Geldof is a cunt? Have we moved on? Do gay bears still have anonymous sex in the woods?
The one on the left has impregnated the one on the right. Or vice versa. ,