Tip-top starlet Madonna is on the Graham Norton show tonight on one of the channels at a time. She is there to flog W.E., which has had reviews, we can tell you. We haven’t seen tonight’s show, but we predict arse licking at Triga proportions, some shit from the internet, giggling that works our reserve nerve, Madonna just thinking of the money, some colour, little bit of movement, air, and lots of blinking. Madonna loves to blink.
The Madonna Blinking Drinking Game goes thusly:
– If you’re a proper lush, one shot per blink. You’ll be wasted before the applause has subsided.
– If you’re pacing yourself, one shot per five blinks. It’ll take the edge off Graham Norton’s squeals.
– If you’re a one Sherry at Christmas kind of gal, one shot per ten blinks. What the fuck do you think your liver’s for, show?
– If you don’t drink, this’ll never work. We’re from two different worlds.
The Madonna Blinking Drinking Game,