‘I’d like to thank Michael Fassbender for taking over the full-frontal nude responsibility I had.
‘Michael, honestly, you can play golf with your hands tied behind your back.’
First of all, *pats hair, Mae West style-y*
Secondly, *white wees*
Thirdly, have we missed something, George Clooney? Ne’er has a famous’s cock made a dramatic turn in the fillums without us taking an impromptu Bank Holiday in its honour (Ewan McGregor, Jude Law, Oliver Reed, Richard Gere, Bruce Willis, Harvey Keitel, the entire cast of Oz…? Dropped trou’ and took a bow!), and our notes tell us that the Clooney schlong is lesser spotted. In that it’s never winked at us on the silver screen, not even once. Not even thrice times. Does this mean he lies? Is George Clooney a liar? Is he a salt ‘n’ popper fibber? Does heterosexual George Clooney not always tell the truth? Do gay bears have anonymous sex in the woods?
As for Michael Fassbender’s penis… We’re so turned on right now we’ve slipped off our designer imposter chair.
George Clooney on Michael Fassbender. Not literally, though we get the impression he probably wouldn't mind.,