Meet Crystal Warren. She is a sex addict. This is the expression she adopts when on the prowl. If she were a man, it would be called ‘cruising’.
We’re saying nothing. Except, ‘Crystal Warren’? Really?
She was on This Morning yesterday *checks* morning to talk about her sex addiction in a feature inspired, one imagines, by the current box office smash, The Iron Lady. During the discussion, Crystal (we’ll be the judge of that) says she has, you know, shitloads of sex. Which only goes to prove. It really does.
She even pops out of a lunch to get a gobble. Poor bastards.
‘If I didn’t manage to have sex I’d be unproductive all afternoon.’
And pasty white pudding Eamonn Holmes is subsequently being slapped round his jowls for suggesting this mister-sister should make money out of her sex addiction. In a rare moment of clarity, he came up with this humdinger of a proposal.
‘Have you ever thought about making a business of it? Charging for it?’
The Twitter-Twatter world was aghast, and not in a good way. It was up in arms, and not in a good way. It went into meltdown, and not in a good way.
In conclusion, Crystal’s hair.
ps. Is that Caroline Aherne?
Sex addiction is the least of her concerns. ,