Oh, what a night (of shite)! 10 thoughts about the Brits.

1. You cut off Adele after a minute so we can hear 11 minutes of Blur not being able to sing their two hits?

2. Blur?

3. One Direction beat Adele to Best Single?

4. Enough with the branding: we think America is commercial and yet we can never have an awards ceremony without having to say ‘Mastercard’ or ‘Tenna Lady’ before we say the name of the Awards. ‘Orange BAFTAs’, ‘Mastercard Brits’. A little integrity people, please.

5. James Corden. We’ll be the judge of that. And goodness knows where the five stone he’s supposed to have lost went. Straight on his neck by the look of it.

6. J’adore Adele, je can’t get enough of Adele but to just sing ‘Rolling in the Deep’ seems a little easy. She should have done a cover. ‘MacArthur Park’ would have been our choice.

7. Do you think with 6 Grammy Awards in her back bedroom, Adele gives a flying fig roll about the bloody Brits?

8. Kylie Minogue? George Michael? What do these people look like? They’re only in their 40s!

9. So Damon Albarn can rattle away for hours on end in his speech and Adele gets one minute?

10. Blur? At the Olympic Closing Ceremony? Really?

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