The NME – or New Musical Express, to give it its full name though there’s nothing ‘new’, very little ‘musical’ and hardly anything ‘express’ about it – is the music journal for men who don’t wash their jeans, masturbate over old Britney Spears videos and think the sun only shines when one of Oasis bend over.
They often do lists, because lists save journalists the trouble of writing features, having ideas or stringing actual sentences together. Those lists – Best British Albums Ever, Best Albums from Britain Ever, Albums: The Best of British Ever – are conspicuous by hardly ever featuring anything by women. You might get a PJ Harvey in there once in a while. Maybe a Kate Bush. At a stretch Dusty Springfield, but only ‘Son of a Preacher Man’ because it was in Pulp Fiction.
In their latest list, however, a woman has triumphed. Yes, in a world of pretentious albums, their number one is Born This Way by Gaga. Hooray! An album that simply says that whatever you are is OK (and that you should aspire to be as free as your hair) is pretentious? Oh, maybe we need to look that word up again.
We wouldn’t detect a whiff of the usual old rock-bastard homophobia in that, would we? Not only is Gaga the current gay spokesperson, but the album was much-lauded for its attempt to increase confidence in children getting bullied for being gay. How intolerably pretentious!
Gaga has responded by means of Twitter. And we salute her response. We’re doing it now, even in these tight trousers. It goes thusly:
‘Oh the irony of winning ‘Most Pretentious Album Ever’ from none other than NME. *eyeroll* I might laugh forever + return to narcissism.’
NME names Born This Way Most Pretentious Album Ever. Homophobic much?,