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We are absolutely sure that Katy Perry’s new boyfriend loves her for her looks and her personality. No, we are. We really are. Really.

Here she is, one of the more unpleasant pop stars it has been our misfortune to meet, the pimply-skinned Katy Perry whose opinion of herself is as high as the Eiffel Tower itself.

And this is her new ‘boyfriend’, the poor bastard. He is a model, he is scientifically 15 times nicer looking than she is and he is not after her fame or her money one bit. We can only imagine the wit, depth and insight of any conversation they may ever have when they’re not doing shots that The Daily Cunt can run alongside the headline ‘Look what you’re missing, Russell Brand’.

Those religious girls, they really are the worst, aren’t they?

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Madonna has launched her very own designer-imposter perfume!

It is called Truth or Dare, it is ‘an intoxicating mixture of feminine and mysterious’, and we will be the judge of that.

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Rating: 9.5/10 (2 votes cast)

And in today’s breaking underwear news, a ‘honey, what’s this?’ moment

It’s nice to explore new shapes and styles in underwear but, honey, no.

They’re from Gregg Homme and no. Not at all. No thank you.

You’ve had your fun, now take those ridiculous panties off.

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And in today’s sports news…

Someone should tell Fernando Torres off of football that it’s rude to point.

And that concludes today’s sports news.

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Rating: 8.5/10 (4 votes cast)

Gay kiss in Abercrombie & Fitch video shock. Ingly lame.

Abercrombie & Fitch, which we can smell from here, has released a bunch of new videos, shot by Bruce Weber. They are as predictable as the alphabet.

One of them, however, features what is being described as a ‘gay kiss’. And it is remarkable for two reasons:

1) It is the first gay kiss ever featured in Abercrombie & Fitch’s advertising bumf. Bumf is the right word. It is almost ‘bumming’.

2) If they (who are they?) think this is a ‘gay kiss’, they (really, who are they?) need to revisit the manual. Page 6. Then take a long hard look at themselves (page 12). Then post it on Guys with iPhones (revised edition).

Oh fuck it, 3) Really? Black and white?

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A fixation on gay rights threatens to fragment society, according to Catweazle here

Out-going (as in he’s on his way out, not that he’s particularly gregarious or that he’s on his way for a night on the tiles) Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, who you can quite frankly smell just by looking at this picture, has said that focusing too much on gay rights (and women’s rights and anyone else’s rights who isn’t a straight white man) fragments society. He said it in front of children as well.

Now, Archbish, sit down, listen for a change: gays want the same as everyone else. No more, no less. Not different but the opposite of different: the same. They want the same. They want to be the same. Being the same seems to us to be the opposite of fragmentation. So please shut up, fuck off and sort out those eyebrows.

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And in today’s breaking underwear news…


And that concludes today’s breaking underwear news.

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Rating: 8.8/10 (6 votes cast)

So someone made a documentary about kids being bullied in school and because there’s a bit of bad language, in the US, kids being bullied in school aren’t allowed to see it

Oh, OK. They’re probably better off watching people having their heads cut off anyways.

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