When they’re not busy rubbing Olbas Oil into young boys’ chests, Catholic priests are busy – very busy indeed – telling people that gays are bad. Quite what their obsession with the gays is all about is anyone’s business. In fact, they’re so obsessed by the gays that they insist on making it everyone’s business. They love rubbing their business in our faces. Their business is like scat.
The latest in a very tedious line of Catholic haters is Cardinal Keith Michael Patrick O’Brien (we get it, you like names). He is the most senior Roman Catholic in Scotland. And he has written a column in today’s Sunday Telegraph in which he froths at the fanny about gay marriage. Apparently, the Sunday Telegraph likes nothing better than giving a voice to haters. This on the Lord’s Day!
Cardinal Keith Michael Patrick O’Brien – CK to his mates – says that gay marriage is a ‘grotesque subversion of a universally accepted human right’.
‘Redefining marriage will have huge implications for what is taught in our schools, and for wider society,’ he says, whilst soliciting for tips on Cam4.
‘It will redefine society since the institution of marriage is one of the fundamental building blocks of society. The repercussions of enacting same-sex marriage into law will be immense.’
So instead of dropping sweeteners into old ladies’ cups of tea and encouraging poor Africans to have as many children as possible so they can then watch them all die of malnutrition (they’re such givers!), Cardinal Keith Michael Patrick O’Brien is telling the readers of the Sunday Telegraph that gay marriage will mean WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!
He says that if gays have the same rights as everyone else, society will disintegrate. That if two men go into a church (or two lesbeans! We’re equal opportunities round here!) and come out with a ring on their finger (or fingers!) then the world will go up in a big ol’ puff of poofy pink puff. And not in a good way!
‘Their attempt to redefine reality is given a polite hearing, their madness is indulged. Their proposal represents a grotesque subversion of a universally accepted human right.’
Cardinal Keith Michael Patrick O’Brien, who is literally scared of gays (boo!), also compares the government’s plan to legalise gay marriage to legalising slavery.
‘Imagine for a moment that the Government had decided to legalise slavery but assured us that “no one will be forced to keep a slave.” Would such worthless assurances calm our fury? Would they justify dismantling a fundamental human right? Or would they simply amount to weasel words masking a great wrong?’
Calm down dear.
Cardinal Keith Michael Patrick O’Brien, who even Jesus thinks is a cunt, reckons that civil partnerships are already bad enough.
‘Those of us who were not in favour of civil partnership, believing that such relationships are harmful to the physical, mental and spiritual well-being of those involved, warned that in time marriage would be demanded too. We were accused of scaremongering then, yet exactly such demands are upon us now.’
Yes, he did actually say civil partnerships are ‘harmful to the physical, mental and spiritual well-being of those involved’.
Cardinal Keith Michael Patrick O’Brien also says that gay marriage would mean schools are forced to stock ‘homosexual fairy stories’.
Cardinal Keith Michael Patrick O’Brien doesn’t get the irony of that statement.
And in next week’s Sunday Telegraph, Catholic whippersnapper Heinrich Himmler gives his views on a more civil society for all.
Cardinal Keith Michael Patrick O'Brien - who thinks this is acceptable headwear - thinks gay marriage is 'madness and grotesque',