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Dame Edna Everage to retire! And Kylie’s still working?

Australia’s greatest ever contribution to world culture is to retire.

No, not Natalie Imbruglia (who doesn’t even know that there’s an ‘h’ in Nathalie). No, not Jason Donovan, the man that humour and hair forgot. And no not Kylie because we distinctly remember using the word ‘culture’, and never mind that she is now nearly 84 years of age. No, people, the Australian retiring – and you might have been tipped off by both the title and the picture accompanying this piece – is *checks notes* Dame Edna Everage!

‘I’m feeling a bit senior now and it’s time to move on,’ said Barry Humphries in an unrelated statement. Sir Les Patterson, by sheer coincidence, is also set to retire.

Who is going to be vile to celebrities now, if there’s no more Dame Edna? Who? Who we ask? *puts Biro provocatively in mouth to aid thinking*

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