Christians pray for a disaster that will stop Lady Gaga performing. And we all know how effective prayer is.


Here is Lady Gaga in Seoul. Hello!

She’s getting ready to put on one hell of a show right there in the Olympic stadium where she is brandishing an umbrella. People will have fun and dance and sing and feel just that little bit better about their lives.

Which is precisely why Korean Christians (they get everywhere! They’re like vermin) have been praying for a disaster that will stop that show going on. Any disaster will do. Flooding maybe. An earthquake. Maybe a plague of locusts or frogs falling from the sky. Anything God, but make it snappy, for Christ’s sake: the concert’s less than a week away.

‘We will pray to God that the concert will not be realized so that homosexuality and pornography will not spread around the world,’ Kang Ju-Hyun, head of the Alliance for Sound Culture in Sexuality said. Though we feel she might be a little late off the mark on that one. We’re assuming it’s a ‘she’. Sounds like a ‘she’ though of course it may be just a hissy ‘he’.

When questioned why he/she was not using up valuable prayer time on the poor and needy, Kang Ju-Hyun looked bemused, asked advisers about the words ‘poor’ and ‘needy’, shrugged, popped one of his/her special pills and fell to the ground speaking in tongues. Well, we’re assuming they’re tongues. Are Christians still allowed tongues?

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