This is Tom Cruise on the cover of W magazine. There is a lady’s hand – a female lady’s hand at that – down his pants. According to our notes, it’s the first time since 1973.
He is topless, covered in ridiculous tattoos and caked in Kate Middleton eyeliner because he is promoting his new film Rock of Ages, which looks like utter shite. Anything which facilitates Tom Cruise’s showing off is by definition heinous.
And if our lovely WordPress technology is working properly, the trailer for Rock of Ages should appear down below at any second now, alongside an erudite yet pithy review. If not, tough titties.
Someone'll buy it.,