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‘Travolta’s erection was in the way.’

John Travolta


Another masseur has claimed that John Travolta wanted a happy finish after an in-house rub-a-dub-dub. He is claiming $2million in damages for sexual harassment.

*does a crash course at the YMCA*

The plaintiff (why do they blind us with their legalize?) claims that whilst going about his business in a hotel room in Atlanta, Georgia on January 28th 2012 – funnily enough when we were passing through. We didn’t even smell the Johnson’s! – John Travolta came over all same-sex oriented, dropped the sheet, and behaved in the way only a greedy bottom knows how.

These are the details, according to the law suit, which was filed yesterday morning in Los Angeles. Funnily enough when we were leaving!

‘Travolta removed the entire sheet from his body, and he claimed the sheets were sticky and could not tolerate the heat.

‘Travolta further indicated that he likes a lot of “glutes” work, meaning a massage on his buttocks.’

Well, it is a problem area.

‘Travolta suddenly turned on his stomach with his legs wide open with a full erection. He then tried to force Doe Plaintiff 2’s (stop blinding us!) hand on Travolta’s scrotum.

‘Then, Travolta started to grab, rub and caress Doe Plaintiff 2’s upper thighs and buttocks.

‘Travolta still had an erection and wanted his abdominals done (problem area!), but Travolta’s erection was in the way and he refused to have his penis covered by a sheet of a pillow case.

‘Travolta started masturbating about 15 minutes left in the session, and Doe Plaintiff 2 said he had to go.’

Quite what John Travolta’s weave was doing at the time is anybody’s guess. Doing cartwheels for light relief, probably.

John Travolta’s lawyer, Marty Singer, says the accusation is just ‘as absurd and ridiculous as the first one.’ Even though we can’t take anything a Marty says seriously.

The Daily Mail, incidentally, refers to Doe Plaintiff 2 as a ‘male masseur’.




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