Let us make this quite clear, how has David Cameron not resigned by now?

‘I am so rooting for you tomorrow not just as a proud friend but because professionally we’re definitely in this together!’ texted News International Chief Executive Rebekah Brooks to our glorious Prime Minister, David Cameron, he of the forehead, as he prepared to make a speech to his party the day after The Sun had switched its allegiance to the Conservatives. ‘Speech of your life!’ she went on. ‘Yes he Cam!’ Which shows you why she got so far in taboid journalism. Sorry, ‘journalism’.

This has all come out at the Leveson inquiry (small ‘i’) as David Cam (yes, he Cam) steps up to take his turn in what is turning out to be the most riveting show since Phantom of the Opera (there’s irony in there for anyone who wants it. Help yourself. Come back for more).

So, with that level of chumminess with the flame-haired chief exec of NI (no, not Northern Ireland, keep up even if it means a coffee and a slap round the face) and the fact that Jeremy Hunt/Cunt had written to Cameron saying that Rupert Murdoch was delicious and should get whatever he wanted, David Cameron, First Minister in Her Majesty’s Government, still appointed J Cunt to oversee the BSkyB deal. Nothing fishy there then.

‘I think what it means was that we were, as she put it,  … friends,’ Cameron clarified about the text (honestly! How much money does Eton cost?) ‘But professionally we – as leader of the Conservative party and her in newspapers – we were going to be pushing the same political agenda.’ Glad we have him to explain all this, aren’t you?

Mind you, we still think we hate that doe-eyed idiot Sam Cam even more.

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