This trouty old homophobe reckons she was ‘fondled by creepy masseurs’. Or maybe it was their dogs.


All her best friends are gay, all of them, ALL, you hear. And yet she never misses out on an opportunity to come up with vile, homophobic features in The Daily Cunt. For that, dear readers, Amanda Platell is what is known in the trade as ‘fair game’. Only without the fair bit.

In today’s Cunt, Ms. Platell (look at that face for a moment) reckons that she has had her ‘own unsettling experiences with a gorgeous foreign masseur’. (Look at the face, look at the face).

‘Once a week [the masseur] would arrive at my home, a Polish Adonis, with his massage bed, his well-toned muscles, his charm and his magic hands.’ (Look at that face again).

Then, apparently, six weeks in (six mind!), ‘during a treatment, I felt a distinct pang of unease. I didn’t have any stress in my inner thighs, so why on earth was he spending so much time there?’ (We would show you a picture of the thighs but you can imagine, so, back to the face).

Next day, she told her intended (yes, someone once asked it to marry them): ‘Did you tell him to stop, that you felt uncomfortable, that it was inappropriate?’ he asked. ‘No, I didn’t she replied.’ Because she is such a shy, blushing victim-type that she didn’t dare – she daren’t is another way of putting it. She could not summon the courage, readers.

‘The tanned, toned masseur must be somewhere in the top 20 of women’s fantasies,’ she concludes. ‘Although after my experiences, he’s certainly not in mine.’ And we are sure the feeling is entirely mutual.

(Back to the face.)

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This trouty old homophobe reckons she was 'fondled by creepy masseurs'. Or maybe it was their dogs., 10.0 out of 10 based on 1 rating

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3 comments to “This trouty old homophobe reckons she was ‘fondled by creepy masseurs’. Or maybe it was their dogs.”

  1. How is this homophobic? Silly, stupid and ridiculous, but don’t see anything about gays in the story….

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  2. Its not, it just says its ok to have a go at
    Her because she’s a homphobe, and tis true, she is a homophobe and trouty.

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  3. OK, good. Thanks. I am happy to have a go then.

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