So, like, right, we’ve got a REALLY great idea for an advert for this new fragrance…

So, we’re thinking black AND white. And maybe that blue-ish tint thing you can get these days.

Male movie star, driving a car, up a hill. You know, like James Franco but not. We’re thinking Alexander Skarsgård… He’s done vampire, right? Perfect. Kids’ll LOVE it. And he’s got a foreign squiggle above a letter, right? Kids’ll LOVE it.

And a supermodel. One of those with a gap in the teeth like Madonna or Vanessa Paradis or Sandra Bernhard. LOVE gaps.

Moody. Gotta be moody.

Wipe-clean house made out of, like, materials. With shitloads of glass everywhere. Like something out of Grand Designs, but without the ugly couple who met at architecture school.

Some ‘impending’ music.

Camera, sweeping.

Waves. Need waves.

A cliff. People LOVE cliffs. With waves.

And it’s raining. If it’s not raining, no one will buy this shit.

Then get James Earl Jones to go ‘this is CNN’ over the top. If he’s not available, get that English bloke who used to be on thingy. You know, dad’s Jon Pertwee. Failing that, anyone who can drop an octave and will work for Equity minimum.

Vampires. Maybe, vampires.

That’s worth hundreds of thousands of pounds, right? In today’s money?

 

 

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